世界杯笑话集锦

Breaking News - Saddam to be executed

大事件－萨达姆将被枪决

Saddam Hussein has been found guilty of war crimes and has been sentenced to death by firing squad.  The Court has granted his last request which was to name his own firing squad............  Mr. Hussein chose Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher from 12 yards.

萨达姆因犯战争罪被判枪决。法庭准许他选择行刑队，于是萨达姆选择了兰帕德、杰拉德和加拉赫在12码处执行枪决。（注：兰帕德、杰拉德和加拉赫均在英格兰与葡萄牙的1/4决赛点球大战中射失点球。）

England in Turmoil as Walcott is arrested

韦尔科特被捕，英格兰队陷入混乱

Theo Walcott walks into a night club in Germany and sees a stunning leggy blonde beauty on the dance floor. He approaches her and says, "get you coat, your coming back to my hotel with me tonight." She looks at him and replies, "Goodness, You're a little forward!"

韦尔科特在德国一家夜总会遇到一个长腿金发美女，于是上前搭讪："今晚跟我回酒店。"美女有点惊讶："你太'唐突'了！" （注：韦尔科特是英格兰国家队一名小个子前锋，身高1.76米）

World Cup Fever  狂热世界杯

A man had great tickets for the World Cup Final. As he sits down, another

man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the empty seat next to him. "No," he says. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible!" says the other man. "Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for the World Cup Final, the biggest sporting event, and not use it?" "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. My wife was supposed to come with me, but she passed away. This is the first World Cup Final we haven't been to together since we got married." "Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbour to take the seat?" The man shakes his head. "No. They're all at the funeral."
 
巴西 VS 苏格兰

It is just before the Scotland v Brazil match. Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his teammates looking a bit glum.  "What's up?" he asks.  "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland, we can't be bothered." Ronaldinho looks at them and says, "Well, I reckon I can beat them by myself. You lads go down the pub." So Ronaldinho goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.

After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads " Brazil 1 - Scotland 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself!

Anyway, a few pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers, "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on." They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium 'Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - Scotland 1 (Ferguson 89 minutes)." They can't believe it; he has single-handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sitting with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very, very end!" "No, no, I have, I've let you down. I got sent off after 12 minutes."